mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
