You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
