I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
