its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
