I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Randomize
