we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
