Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
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