I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
