Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
