Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
