either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
