I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize