I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
