The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
3pm strippers are depressing
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Well I just put wine in my tea
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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