But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
