I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
