You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
