I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
