forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
