Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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