we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
