We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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