the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Randomize
