I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
