Christians are straight up FREAKS
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
