so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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