I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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