And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
how drunk are you?
Several
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize