There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
