They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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