Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
