Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
