just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
