I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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