But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Hello my rib-scented angel!
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize