I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
