Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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