I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
