Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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