She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
