Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Randomize
