New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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