I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
