"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
