i permit you to call me
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
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