And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
