i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
