Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
