Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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