I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I am in a vortex of obligation.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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