I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
