Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
