drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
