Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
