Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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