I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
