I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
