when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
