Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
